What is even happening in this space?

Hey, y’all! 

I don’t even know where to start with this one, so bear with me.

I’m changing how I write this newsletter/blog because I’m stuck in an awful writing pattern. I write three to four labor-intensive articles at a time. Then I’m so fed up with trying to sound ultra-professional and composed that I want to throw my tablet in the creek. 

Then I avoid writing anything long-form about PDA for months, and eventually feel guilty for ghosting and come back and start the cycle over. 

Basically, I need to honor that I don’t just write about PDA; I am PDA. I need to find ways to write about PDA that work for me more consistently instead of fighting against my neurology all the time. I enjoy helping non-PDA folks understand PDA, and I’ll still write some long-form article-style posts, but I’m going to try to walk away from trying to polish my voice so much and lean away from marketing, keywords, and a lot of the micro-demands that get tacked on to writing. I re-named this space to try and reflect an evolution towards more casual, real-life style writing.

I’m also under an absolutely bonkers amount of stress—my partner has been unemployed for months and was finally offered a job in Taiwan, so unless something goes horribly wrong (which is always possible!), we’ll be moving our family internationally very soon. If there’s interest in information on travel and immigration with a very neurodivergent family, I can write a lot about that in the coming months. 

Some near-future writing stuff you can get involved with: 

If you have PDA/AuDHD-specific questions that you’d like a PDA perspective on, send them to me over Substack chat or email me at arielgrucza@gmail.com. I want to do some Q&A-style posts where I can address people’s real-life situations instead of guessing what neurotypical and non-PDA folks want or need to know about PDA.

I’m also in the process of writing a long-form post about low-demand parenting. There seems to be a lot of confusion in PDA groups around what low-demand parenting looks like, and honestly, I think the term ‘low-demand’ leads to all kinds of misconceptions. I think I’d prefer something like ‘intentional community parenting’ that focuses more on forethought and relationship building, but I don’t know; I don’t have a suggestion for a replacement term I love right now. 

What I do know is that I see a lot of families with parents in burnout or near burnout who are trying to meet the needs of their PDA child and all their other family members. A lot of the advice given to these people is totally unsustainable. Like, believe me, I get firsthand that PDA kids (and adults) need accommodations and understanding, but it can’t be at the expense of everyone else’s well-being. “Low-demand” parenting advice needs to be more about building functional, collaborative relationships and less about unlimited Roblox time or trying to force yourself to be cool with holes punched in your walls or whatever. 

Is anyone else struggling with the low-demand parenting advice they’re seeing in PDA spaces? Or is there anything else about low-demand parenting that isn’t clicking for you? I’d love to know what your thoughts are.